Wearing a tight puckered face right out of an OIC television commercial, Timmy Kelly confessed. I hate Joe Biden, he said, especially when the dorky bastard jogs that gawky dash he makes with his arms pumping psychostimulants or whatever juice he’s on to show off geriatric dexterity. Earl piped in. What is he, 100? The […]
The White House switchboard operator asked why I wanted to talk with somebody in the press office. What is your affiliation? I’m a veteran journalist who writes news blogs, I said Monday, and I need contact information for the person assigned to respond to media inquiries from Scranton. I have questions, you see. I didn’t […]
With her hair piled on her head like a sticky pink cotton candy beehive, Timmy Kelly’s sister, Shannon, painted her toenails cranberry red and sipped a strawberry wine cooler straight from the bottle. Wearing a headset and baby doll pajamas she took the first call of the day. When Shannon started her home business making […]
Digging into his bowl of soggy corn flakes, Gino chewed hard and loud, loaded with pride in his refusal to watch one second of the inaugural swearing-in ceremony on TV. With the inmates storming the asylum two weeks ago and COVID-19 bugs spreading all over town, as far as he was concerned Joe and Kamala […]
Oogabooga, my brother, said Earl Schmidt. Timmy Kelly lifted his aviator glasses and looked hard at the reverend. Huh? Earl explained. Black cave men used to say boogabooga. White cave men said oogabooga. Now that’s our battle cry for the civil war, Earl said. Civil war? Earl kept talking. Pay attention, boy. White cave men […]
