We Watching The Debate Tonight?

No, said Wilkes-Barre Mayor Spuds McAnus.

We could make money for our Notre Dame Fund by packing in the Irish Guys here at the bar, Mikey Hoyle said.

I’m boycotting the debate because of what they’re doing to Mr. Trump, McAnus said.

Open up the Coal Hole at 5 for Happy Hour and offer drink specials when Mr. Trump and the Scranton Scrapper kick off at eight, Hoyle said.

Fake news, McAnus said.

C’mon, mayor, we can make a killing taking bets, having a look-a-like contest, turning the debate into a regular circus.

It’s already a circus.

So what do we do?

Can we have classic rock karaoke when it’s over?

You’re on, Hoyle said.

OK, we watch the debate, McAnus said.

Mikey Hoyle perked up.

Who you betting on?

Mr. Trump has to knock him out to win, McAnus said.

Like Rocky, Hoyle said.

Mr. Trump needs a KO to pull this off because the lame stream media is against him. That why NBC’s got that colored girl as the moderator? So she can cut off Mr. Trump’s mic, the mayor said.

Another man-hating feminazi, Mikey Hoyle said.

I heard she’s Carmella Harris’ sister, McAnus said.

Go awn.

Seriously, she’s adopted.

You’re making that up.

Do you doubt Mr. Trump when he says something you never thought of before?

Mr. Trump tells it like it is.

Mayor McAnus loved sharing breaking news.

Carmella Harris and debate moderator Kristen Welker are some kind of Indians, right? And Welker’s father was one of them ganja smoking, gun-toting, reggae rapping Rastafarian California college professors, I heard.

No, that was Carmella’s father, Hoyle said.

Maybe they’re twins.

They all look alike to me, Hoyle said.

So-called journalist Kristen Welker changed her name to keep from being found out that they adopted her in Jamaica, the mayor said.

What’s her real name?

Christian, not Kristen. She’s embarrassed she’s named after Jesus so she changed it.

Trying to throw God-fearing Irish Guys like us off the track.

We’re too smart for that, Mikey.

Disguised her name but we recognize her as the atheist she is, Hoyle said.

Probably a Socialist, too, the mayor said.

We have Socialists in Wilkes-Barre, mayor?

Nah, they all moved to Scranton when the coal mines closed.

What kind of work they doing now?

Professional voter fraud.