At 10 am, Irish Guys Vice President Mikey Hoyle finishes his first beer of what is shaping up as a fine Tuesday morning. Blessing himself, he makes his first prolific announcement of the day.
The president says he’s healed.
Two bar stools down, Wilkes-Barre Mayor and Irish Guys President Spuds McAnus says, thank God.
Thank steroids, Mikey says.
Hey, watch your mouth, Mikey.
Prescribed drugs, mayor, like when you ask me at last call if I have any painkillers. My doctor prescribed them. I just shared them with you.
All that matters is Mr. Trump is cured, the mayor says.
Like a big fat smoked ham.
I meant that as a compliment. The steroids couldn’t have done it without him. I mean, the steroids needed him more than he needed them. Mr. Trump could have found another medicine. The steroids just worked quicker because the president’s so strong and healthy.
A great American, McAnus says.
Yeah, a warrior like the SEALS, John Wick in the movies and the Green Berets all put together.
You think John Wick could take James Bond?
Chuck Norris could take them both, Mikey says.
What about Steven Seagal?
Mr. Trump could take them all.
And kick Joe Biden’s ass in his sleep, McAnus says.
Four more years, Mikey says.
McAnus chugs his beer.
Four more years, he says.