We knew she was for sale.
Now it’s official.
Scranton Mayor and 8th Congressional District candidate Paige Cognetti is for rent as well.
When The Scranton City News’ guerrilla photographer stopped by Cognetti’s recently opened Scranton campaign headquarters at 301 Mulberry Street, from across the street our photojournalist could barely make out the tiny campaign posters in the windows. Down on their luck city pizza joints advertise stromboli and hoagie specials with signs bigger than the pale Cognetti posters.
What did stand out was the “FOR RENT” sign that hangs like a shadow of gloom over Cognetti’s new office space and darkens her hoped-for entry to Congress with visions of empty store fronts and vacant business shells all over town. “FOR RENT” in Scranton too often means barren, vacated and even abandoned.
Cognetti focuses way too much on the groovy boutiques and poser restaurants in Central City that received Covid money and then went belly up or now struggle to placate picky beautiful people sipping rooftop cocktails through straws. These so-called young professionals actually feel entitled to foodie small plates in contemporary casual and even premium casual haunts where Gen XYZ Cognetti supporters congregate to sing her praises. Meanwhile traditional working-class neighborhoods from West Side to South Side fear and face blue-collar economic decay as Cognetti rarely if ever shows up to walk the streets where Scranton immigrants and other hard-working people struggle with real problems every day.
I’ve lived in the Hill Section of Scranton almost 20 years and never once saw Cognetti walk on or even drive down any street in my neighborhood, not even door-knocking near Election Day when candidates appear on doorsteps like bugs at a picnic.
The Chamber of Commerce sits catty-cornered from Cognetti’s new headquarters. I imagine she’s visited there. The Gino J. Merli Veterans’ Center sits across the street on another corner of the intersection. How many times has Cognetti stopped by the center and talked with military veterans who have seen better days in Scranton and reflect back on their almost spent lives. Cognetti regularly boasts about the city ammunition plant where workers make Israel-bound artillery shells that kill innocent Palestinian men, women and children. The very least warmonger Cognetti can do is rent herself out to sing the national anthem to the vets on bingo night.
A fully stocked ATM machine sits nearby as well. That machine likely means more to Cognetti that any voter in the entire 8th Congressional District. “Cash Cognetti” knows where the money is and how to tap into its seemingly unlimited source.
Democratic Party power brokers across the country (including pro-Israel Zionists and data center proponents like her mentor/political boss Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro who is both Zionist and pro data center) will continue to contribute increasing support and skyrocketing amounts of cash to Cognetti’s campaign. She’s OK renting herself out to these out-of-town hustlers but most 8th District voters do not welcome Cognetti’s carpetbaggers. That goes triple for generations of native Scrantonians whose ancestors labored in coal mines, dress factories and the button mill to help create better lives for their descendants.
I also seriously doubt Cognetti’s campaign headquarters landlord will allow a glaring “Cognetti for Congress” banner to hang from the building’s roof for fear of driving away potential tenants who despise Cognetti, her politics and her meddling backers.
Scranton political candidates have historically shown up at wakes and funerals, particularly at large Irish gatherings in the Minooka section of town. Paige might start complying with this sacred tradition by renting herself out as a pall bearer. She’ll need practice if on Election Day she becomes the head mourner when her campaign sinks into a grave deeper than one of the countless pot holes around town.
Because of Cognetti’s affinity for all things Israel, including Palestinian genocide in Gaza, she can also show up at Bat and Bar Mitzvahs to juggle a few matzo balls to entertain the crowd. At Jewish weddings she can shake her bagels and dance to Hava Nagila.
The Polish can hire her to do the polka. The possibilities are endless for people of color even if Cognetti has done little for Scranton’s so-called minorities. If she has a dream, it’s for herself.
If successful, Rent-a-Cognetti might even put U-Haul out of business. If Cognetti loses, though, she might need a rental truck to move back to Oregon or Harvard or Washington D.C., wherever she best fits with her snooty, opportunistic elitist ways.
Cognetti-4-rent?
You can bet your reused snap-on black tuxedo bow tie on it.
Cognetti’s integrity comes cheap.
