Are we a militia, mayor?

The Irish Guys are a social club, Mikey.

We’re ethnics, right?

Irish, says Spuds McAnus.

Trump Irish, Mikey says.

That’s us, says the mayor.

What about them socialist Scranton Biden Irish?

Just Biden their time, McAnus says.

Are there any Irish of color?

Bite your tongue, Mikey.

What’s black Irish then?

You’re black Irish.

There’s no colored in my family, mayor.

You got black hair, dark eyes and tan fast when you’re working construction in the summer.

Mikey proudly squares his shoulders.

Mayor McAnus explains.

The red hair, freckles and pale skin comes from Vikings who failed to conquer Ireland.

We kicked the Vikings’ ass, right, mayor?

Sent them back to Sweden.

So why do we look like we do, mayor?

Because we’re Celts.

Like the Boston Celtics?

Larry Bird forever.

Larry Bird has blond hair.

He was from Indiana.

So even the great Larry Bird isn’t as Irish as us.

Not even close.

You always got the answers, mayor.

Never forget where you came from, says the mayor.