Seriously perplexed, Mikey Hoyle stood in the corner of the bar by the pool table.

We won, right?

Wilkes-Barre Mayor Spuds McAnus snapped like a moody red setter.

Of course we won, said McAnus, who also served as Irish Guys social club president.

Jesus, that’s a relief, said club vice president Hoyle.

If Biden doesn’t steal the election, that is, McAnus said.

Mikey Hoyle stopped drinking his beer in mid-chug and stared at his cultural mentor.

But I thought…

You think too much.

Thanks, mayor.

Bad things happen in Philadelphia, McAnus said, remember in 1985 when those Africans holed up in their houses and the mayor had to bomb the whole block to get them out?

That MOVE gang, like George Jefferson moving on up on TV reruns, right?

Then this year the Democrats took down the Frank Rizzo statue, McAnus said.

Next thing you know they be pulling Rocky down the Art Museum steps like he’s some Confederate general, Mikey Hoyle said.

So the libtards are rigging the election in Philly, he said.

Fake votes, McAnus said.

Can’t we do something?

Mr. Trump knows we’re standing by.

For what?

We’ll know when we get there.

Should we protest?

And look like antifa socialists?

Mikey grabbed his crotch.

Yeah, feel this burn, Bern.

Money talks, Mikey.

So we keep donating to Mr. Trump even though the election’s over.

It’s never over for us.

Especially if Mr. Trump gets arrested after the Dems rob the election, Mikey said.

We got time, at least until inauguration day.

I got an idea, Mikey said.

This should be good, McAnus said.

You know that place up in Scranton where Biden goes, that Hank’s Hoagies?

I saw him posing there on the news.

We can drive up and moon the lunch crowd.

What are you, Mikey, 14?

What’s the matter with that?

We’re adults, McAnus said.

Listen to the guy who blew up a dozen condoms and pasted a picture of Biden’s face on them.

We called them dickhead balloons and sold them outside the Trump rally for twenty dollars a pop, McAnus said.

I still think mooning Hank’s Hoagies is a good idea.

At least Mr. Trump won Luzerne County, McAnus said.

Mikey threw his arms into the air, flashing two thumbs up.

Victory, he said.

Irish Guys never lose, McAnus said.

Mikey Hoyle put on that grin his aging mother hated.

Some things never change, he said.