Feeling Better Already

You vote yet?

After lunch.

Irish Guys Vice President Mikey Hoyle loved talking about food a lot more than talking about politics.

What are you having?

Large ham hoagie, said Irish Guys President and Wilkes-Barre Mayor Spuds McAnus.

The doctor says I have to cut down on red meat.

Your doctor trying to turn you into a homosexual?

What’s that supposed to mean?

The libs, gays and the socialists mostly, want to take away our guns and our chops.  

I didn’t know that, said Mikey Hoyle.

They had it on FOX, McAnus said, I’ll bet Mr. Trump’s excited about today.

You think he’s scared?

Of Joe Biden?

I seen Biden on the TV up in Scranton this morning at his old house, Mikey Hoyle said.

Mr. Trump is having a party tonight at the White House.

You think he might lose?


No, Mr. Trump.

Mayor McAnus closed his eyes.

Bite your tongue in half, Mikey Hoyle.

I’m just asking.

Mr. Trump never loses and he’s never been captured in Vietnam.

But what if he does lose? What do we do then?

McAnus spoke through clenched teeth.

We don’t talk about that.

Biden says he’ll get us better health care, Mikey Hoyle said.

What’s wrong with what you got?

I don’t have any.

Mr. Trump has a plan, McAnus said.

He got the COVID, too.

Where are you going with this?

Even with his gold standard medical coverage he caught the COVID.

You see how he came out of it, though, didn’t you? Better than ever.

So I should catch the COVID to get stronger.

Just like Mr. Trump.

I feel better already, Mikey Hoyle said.

Election Day was looking up.

Throwing his arm around Mikey Hoyle’s shoulders, McAnus knew he and his buddy were in this together.

You want a ham hoagie, pal?

Mikey Hoyle pulled away with a serious question.

Who’s paying?