From where white boy Jimmy Ray stood at the back of the nightclub dance floor he could see the two-tone couple glistening beneath the blue spotlight, dancing slowly, sweating, hardly moving pressed that tight against each other. In a dress that matched her pale freckled skin, the white woman confused Jimmy Ray by keeping her […]
News of the ceramic baby Jesus stolen from the church manger scene broke like five-dollar dinner plates in a drunken wedding anniversary argument. In the chilly aftermath, Big Mike’s words went viral, shooting off from his big Pittsburgh mouth like fireworks or foam from a shaken can of Iron City popped the day bosses at […]
“Where you going, old-timer?” “Home for Christmas.” “Need a ride?” “No, thank you, I’ll walk.” When Richard Arnold left the house at 8 a.m. Friday morning, he wore his good blue polyester sportcoat, a white shirt, tan dress slacks he bought at Sears before he retired, brown socks and black dress shoes he polished to […]
Fore! Taking a swig from the freshly opened bottle of Bacardi 151 rum left over from Christmas 2010, Brad Brigham leaned on a 4-iron like a cane and wiped his sun-cracked lips with the back of a liver-spotted hand. “Politically correct corporate hacks should have never discontinued this brand,” he said. “We’re not supposed to […]
“Can you pull back the sides of his mouth more toward his ears to show all his teeth?” The undertaker fidgeted. He looked at Gary Capehart stretched out on the embalming table. “People don’t even want the hint of a smile. A smile would be creepy,” he said. “Goddammit, show some respect,” Maureen said. The […]
